Special Needs Adoptions

Children Awaiting Adoption

Over 100,000 children await adoption in foster care

When we think about adoption, what often comes to mind is a happy young couple with a healthy newborn baby. but there are over 100,000 children waiting in the foster care system, as well as newborn babies with medical complexities, including HIV-positive status and substance exposure, who need new families. Who are the Children? These are “children with special needs.” This term is used to characterize children for whom an adoptive family does not wait, who need special parents, who were once thought “unadoptable,” including children school-age and older, with physical or mental disabilities, with emotional problems due to neglect or abuse, siblings needing to be placed together, and (sometimes) children of color. What are the Requirements? To find families for children with special needs, agencies have softened criteria for eligible adoptive parents. Single parents, foster parents, parents with large families, older parents, low-income parents, and parents with disabilities are all encouraged to apply. Fees are low, and there are some programs to reimburse all fees. But special needs adoption is not right for everyone. Families who have been successful at parenting children with special needs like children, enjoy the challenges of parenting, and: · Can handle change and stress · Accepts a child with a past and the surprises that brings · Have good emotional survival skills · Encourage open communication · Can cope with rejection and anger without personalizing it · Realize that not all problems can be overcome · Advocate for their children when necessary · Express love and trust · Have a sense of humor

Some special needs adoptions, perhaps 15 percent, end in dissolution. But of those families, 80 percent say they would adopt again; and most would adopt the same child again it they had better preparation. Families considering special needs adoption must be realistic, assess their skills and limitations honestly, and make decisions based on the objective evaluation of as much information as they can get. Adoptions of children with special needs are most frequently handled by the public adoption agencies, but many private adoption agencies also prepare families and place children with special needs. Is there Financial Help? Financial assistance is available for many children with special needs, determined by the child’s needs rather than the parent’s. Every state has subsidy programs. Many children eligible for state subsidy programs are also eligible for federal assistance and for reimbursements for some one-time expenses. (Contact AFA for free information on subsidy programs for children with special needs.) Subsidy agreements must be in place before the adoption is finalized and can’t be negotiated retroactively (in most cases). Many families insist on subsidy agreements even if the child does not appear to have the sorts of special needs that would require medical or other expenses. Counseling can be a subsidized expense, and since every older adopted child has a past, the likelihood for extra emotional health care needs always exists. Adoptive parent support groups are considered essential for parents of children with special needs. Children who have been emotionally scarred may behave in negative ways. Supportive friends, access to specialized parenting education, and respite services are invaluable. With proper support, the vast majority of special needs adoptions are successful. The satisfaction from being a family for a child who has been dealt a tough hand by life is enormous, say parents who have experienced the joys and challenges of special needs adoption.

Invaluable Resources

Essential books for families considering special needs adoption:

Adopting the Older Child

Adoption and the Sexually Abused Child

Shattered Dreams-Lonely Choices

A child’s Journey Through Placement

Helping Children Cope with Separation and Loss

See pages 27-30 for descriptions of these and other important resources..

SC Council on Adoptable Children