Adopting a Child Independently
Choosing An Attorney
1. What is your general philosophy about adoption? What are your feelings about “open” and “confidential” adoption and why? What is your role as attorney in the adoption process?
2. What is your experience, knowledge, competence? How many adoptions do you complete each year? May I have a list of references?
3. How do you bill and what is the average cost?
4. Do you return phone calls promptly? Will your office keep me up-to-date and involved? Will you accept collect calls from birthparents? When you are away from the office is another knowledgeable attorney available?
5. Do you see counseling for birthparents as helpful or useful? Why or why not?
6. Will you actively assist me in finding an adoption situation, as well as handle the necessary legal work?
Ask yourself: Are the attorney and support staff pleasant people who help me feel at ease and who will assist the birthparent graciously? *Adapted from Attorney Diane Michelsen, J.D., M.S.W., 3190 Old Tunnel Rd., Lafayette, CA 94549
About one-third of non-related child adoptions in the United States each year are accomplished through independent adoption which is also called private or direct adoption (National Council for Adoption, 1989).
Independent adoption is sometimes confused with open adoption, in which the birthparents and adoptive parents have knowledge of each other. But in most states, independent adoptions can be either open or confidential.
Benefits
Some reasons why birth parents and adoptive parents choose independent adoption:
· Birthparents may want the greater control over the placement of the baby that independent adoption often offers, including participation in selecting the adoptive parents.
· Prospective adoptive parents, too, may choose independent adoption for more control and participation.
· Some advocates also claim that the process involves a shorter waiting time for adoptive parents.
Risks
The benefits may be balanced by its potentially higher risks, including:
· Birthparents may-and do-change their minds and decide to parent their child, often after the child has been living with the adoptive family.
· Expenses of thousands of dollars are often lost when birthparents change their minds, and the pain of returning a child can be overwhelming.
The risks for the child may be greater in an independent adoption. A child born with a disability, for instance, may enter a home with unprepared adoptive parents, who may find themselves unable to manage the additional challenges. A child placed in a home in which no home study has been done to determine the suitability of the prospective parents may be at special risk.
Creating Your Success
How you can help insure a legal, ethical experience:
· Learn all you can about independent adoption-its risks and its rewards. The Adoption Resource Book, by Lois Gilman, has an excellent chapter outlining how to proceed. State laws vary greatly; know yours.
· Contact adoptive parent support groups or other adoptive parents for suggestions on attorneys. Contact the state chapter of the American Bar Association or the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys for referrals to attorneys who are adoption specialists. If you have doubts concerning a practitioner, check with the state Attorney General’s office regarding his or her history with adoption cases.
· Insist upon counseling for the birthparents to help them be certain that adoption is what they want. Birthparents need to understand the issues they will face and how to get help handling them.
· Make certain the birthfather’s rights have been protected.
· Be aware that independent adoption can be risky-financially and emotionally. Ask you attorney about insurance to cover financial losses in an incompleted adoption.
· Locate an adoptive parent support group or other support system to help you through the trying waiting times, and for support raising your child.
· Have a plan if the baby is born with a disability. This gives both you and the birthparents much-needed peace of mind.
SC Council on Adoptable Children